Ben's Domain- Articles/Essays (December 2006)

December 2006

Bush Administration

BUSH:
This has gotten too far, Georgy. Abdicate your office now. If you don't, I'm sure somebody is going to take matters in their own hands and freakin murder you once and for all (no, it's not gonna be me, officials, so go stalk some other guy already). I always knew a cheerleader with straight "c"s in college couldn't be the president. It is just not right!

This "president" of America is letting our national debt soar to new heights. Since 2000, the average American's estimated share of national debt has grown from $500 to $24,000. The unemployment rate, in addition, has grown by 3.3 million since Bush first took office. Meanwhile, he's giving tax cuts to the richest 1% of the U.S. A little thank-you present for cheating you into office, Georgy? 43 million Americans don't have health insurance, and war veterans are denied healthcare benefits. He also cut funding for 375,000 low-income college students.

Have any of you readers heard about the Kyoto Agreement on Global Warming? It was signed by 178 other countries. What about Bush? Nah, he pulled out. Instead of creating funds to help the environment stay beautiful for many generations to come, he is making money-making schemes to get him richer.

All I want for the holidays is the guarantee that God doesn't love Bush. This asshole keeps bragging that God helped him win and encourages him to make his decisions. Number one, you were cheated into office by your daddy and his rich buddies. Number Two, Karl Rove tells you what to do. You don't deserve to belong to God. After claiming that homosexuals are sinners, that is. Get it through your freakin head: Homos are people just like us, and deserve to be treated well. No, the Bible did not say homosexuals are sinners, and if it did, who cares? Must the Bible have such a control over us? (Read more...)

DICK CHENEY:
I'm gonna be fair. I'm not gonna make fun of Dick for shooting his friend in the face. It was merely a mistake (a stupid one at that, though). But inside Dick Cheney lies a great evil. An evil no other man possesses. Is it his anti-gay belief? Yes, but it goes beyond that. Way beyond.
You see, Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian. Wait...isn't there something terribly wrong here? Yes, there is. Dick cheney is anti-lesbian.
At least he seems to be, with all of his bans against gay unions. I mean, what kind of father is this? Someone that doesn't stand up for her daughter's choice of orientation? Although he is not as evil as Bush and Ashcroft, a strong hatred burns inside me for Dick Cheney.

Source: Administration For Dummies

Apple iPods

What do you first think of when I mention the word "Apple?" Do you think of the delicious, round-shaped fruit? Or do you think of the Silicon-Valley geeks who managed to create a fad that is sweeping the United States? Notice how I said "fad." Just like all technology, there is going to be a new mp3 player that will dominate over the iPod. I hate the iPod and its producers, the Apple team. I hate you if you don't agree with me, but that won't be a problem, because I'll have you hugging my leg like a tree at the end of my rant.
THE IPOD ITSELF:
I am seriously considering the idea that Steve Jobs was spoken to by God. Either that, or he is one lucky dude, because I find that the recent success of the iPod is, well, inhuman. For one, the iPod's design is terribly plain. The scroll/click wheel, I admit, is a brilliant feature. Very original and innovative. Only thing: It sucks. Yup, it's annoying as hell. I put my finger on the wheel and I scroll a little to a song I want. But it passes it! So I try again! Nope, missed again. I have to put all of my focus into the simple task of playing a song and have to do it SLOWLY. Finally, it works, but I shouldn't have to try that hard to choose a frickin song. Going up/down/side/side is nonoriginal, but hey- it works. The screen on the iPod is very small, very small indeed. Sure, I would be a douche to say that iPods suck because of their screen size, but that's not all that I dislike about the screen. Have you ever noticed that the screen is tiny compared to the rest of the iPod? Why, young reader, this is because the scroll wheel is the SAME SIZE as the screen, if not bigger. The interface looks rather bland, once you use your iPod a few times.
iPod nanos are horrible. They are way too small and thin. Now, I know what you're thinking: "But Ben, that is why the iPod nano is so awesome!" Oh really? Have you ever realized that your iPod nano scratches easily? Case or not, I could crush an iPod nano with my foot. Oh, and have you seen the new nanos? You know, the "fat midgets," as I like to call them? They're the size of a small square which happens to be VERY rectangular.
Did you ever hear that some video iPods are infested with a vrus called RavMon.exe? Don't worry- if you bought one before September 12, 2006, they're fine. Well...that's what they said. Their response to the problem angered me:

"As you might imagine, we are upset at Windows for not being more hardy against such viruses."

Um...wow. That's like a burglar saying "I’m sorry we broke in to your house. You should have stronger locks." (Thanks to Devanshu Mehta- read his article here) Now, about the battery life. Whether it's eight hours, twelve hours, or twenty hours, the iPod's battery life sucks. I have heard about so many people that complain about the battery life. It almost never works as it's supposed to. The first-generation seemed to have the most problems, but that doesn't mean some newer models have that problem, too. The iPeople are forced to replace their battery because Apple won't do it themselves, free of charge. Usually, the battery life runs out after two hours or so. Click here to see a video about the iPod's faulty battery life.
THE IPOD USERS THEMSELVES:
These guys are what really get my blood pumping. Why do you think they got the iPods in the first place? Doy, because everyone else had them! I don't think they even researched the gadgets. Popularity really has a major effect on the society of America. You feel as if you must have an iPod to be in the "in" crowd. Stupid asswipes- those people know nothing. They are just naturally like that. That is what makes me tick. If you found the time to research better alternatives, you would be amazed at what you would find. In addition, their behavior disturbs me. Here they are, raving about how much they love their iPods, when they're listening to them through crappy earphones. Whatsa matter? Daddy too poor to buy you "real" headphones, but can buy you an iPod and the music that makes it great? Bull. You lazy jerks don't take the time to do anything. If you were smart, you would know that the Apple earphones suck. If you really loved your music, you would listen to it through quality headphones. Sound like a good idea? Good for you. Hmmm... if you're a rich little squirt, then I'd say get some Bose headphones, but most likely you're not, or just use your money wisely, so why don't you get a pair of Skullcandy headphones or earphones? I use the Hesh, and for fifty bucks, they sound great. So don't act like a mindless zombie, controlled by the higher powers above us! You are beginning to become a dedicated member of the iPod cult. We have the freedom of choice. Do you know how many nations would die to have that? Be freakin grateful of the things you have.
I understand how companies must create products that will appeal to consumers. In this case, the "appeal" is the iPod. So hundreds of companies are rushing off to make products made especially for iPods. What about the other mp3 players? I mean, it's bloody annoying: all of these companies are starting the products' names off with a lowercase I. Damn, have you heard of trademarks? Wait...why the heck am I standing up for Apple, anyway?
THE APPLE TEAM:
I have heard plenty of stories from people who have experienced bad service from Apple. People who are denied assistance because they have used their first "free" call; people that don't even recieve any assistance. A fair company wouldn't limit a customer to one phone call or hire lazy bums. Seems like you're having trouble with this, Apple. In addition, what is the deal with expiration dates on gift certificates? I understand that it not legal in some states. However, not all things legal are right. Is this any way to treat your customers, Apple? Okay, I will admit it- no, I have never actually contacted Apple about this problem. Sad, huh? So I'll shut up. My point here, though, is that Apple has not put enough effort in their Customer Service. Not very professional or desirable, I must say. Apple has also made unfair policies so they can get rich. The iPeople feel uncomfortable about it, but one little policy? Whatever, they say. Luckily I am smarter than that.